uh oh. I'm reflective. There are hymns coming from upstairs, duetted by the static of a radio that no one ever uses, but they do now. I wish they'd use it more. The house is always so silent. We really do have a nice piano. I like to lift the lid and play standing up so that I can see the levers hit the taunt wires. I like to dust the wood on the lid because dust muffles sound. If someone left me notes in strange places, and clues, and hints, and such..If I were to be caught in a game of written tag, that would be fantastic beyond comparison. Something to stretch the unused muscles of my mind. I was watching little kid videos of me last night because my dad is capturing all of them onto the computer. I was six years old and I had made a computer out of shoeboxes and pipecleaners. I was doing DNA research on this computer, the pipecleaners being the DNA on the screen. I looked at the camera and flipped a blue handercheif over the "comptuer" screen. "This computer shut down," I said. I was so much smarter then. I can even comprehend it. There's things around the edges that are beginning to decay and rust off. Just little things, but they sting a little like a paper cut. There's a chance that two years of my life don't matter any more, and I have to get used to that, I guess. People tend to change. There's another chance that eight and eventually nine years of my life won't matter any more. That's something that I don't want to get used to, and I hope it isn't true. I like to be surprised and go to new places and experience new things, but I hate change. I don't like change in the foundations of things, like going somewhere new and staying, or never seeing very good friends ever again. I was sightreading Mussorgski today. I don't know what songs I played, but I was watching the levers. It was fascinating. I feel like cutting words out and pasting them onto things. I don't know why. | 
